How to feel fulfilled

Here are five tips to help you feel fulfilled by Anamaya clinical psychotherapist, Jim O’Connor

28 MAY 2015 by Psychologies

1. Start at the very beginning. The journey to fulfilment begins the moment you intend to learn how to lead a fulfilling life – what I call the fulfilment intention. The most fundamental motivation of your life is not to just exist, not to just struggle, but to learn how to create a fulfilling life. Then life stops being a scary world of struggles and difficulties, or a world of mediocrity and sameness, and becomes a world of endless possibilities.

2.… More

‘I’m the only single person I know’

Our agony aunt, Mary Fenwick, offers a new perspective on your challenges and problems

27 MAY 2015 by Psychologies

My friend who, until recently, was the last single person in my friendship group, has just started dating someone, which makes me, more or less, the only single person I know now. She suggested that I shouldn’t have so many criteria when it comes to potential partners and perhaps that’s why I’m still single.

Because all my friends are coupled up, I am spending more time with my mum, who also told me I’m being too fussy. I’ve taken these comments as a huge insult.… More

Infidelity – from both sides

What makes a person unfaithful? And does infidelity always wreck a marriage? Writer Wendy Plump has experienced both sides – as the betrayer and the betrayed – and has learned some surprising lessons.

19 FEBRUARY 2013 by Psychologies

I first met Steven on vacation, on a marina dock down in South Carolina, fresh off a fishing trip. It was 1990 and I was 29. Steven was 35, curly-haired and sun-streaked. His eyes were sharp green, like microdots, and his voice all southern honey. It was not only attraction I felt on seeing him. It was attraction on nitrous. We ended up leaving the dock that night and spending the next few days in rapturous togetherness.… More

Why do people cheat?

Our sex expert Esther Perel has taken TED by storm once again with her brilliantly challenging talk on ‘rethinking infidelity: a talk for anyone who has ever loved’

22 MAY 2015 by Psychologies

Do people who are happy in a relationship cheat? Why do people cheat? Why does infidelity in a digital age feel like ‘death from a thousand cuts’? Esther Perel, renown sex therapist and Psychologies’ sex expert says that often people don’t cheat because they are unhappy in a relationship.

“When we seek the gaze of another, it isn’t always our partner that we are turning away from, but the person that we have ourselves become,” Perel says.… More

Health fix: calming flare-ups

We try out a therapy, treatment or specialist retreat in a bid to solve an ongoing health issue – here Eminé Ali Rushton tackles eczema

23 MAY 2015 by Eminé Ali Rushton

‘I had eczema as a child, but overcame it with dietary changes. In adulthood, I’m still prone to random flare-ups during periods of unusually high stress’

THE TREATMENTSI was allergy-tested as a child and cow’s milk came up through the roof. Once I cut that out, my eczema (and asthma) faded into oblivion. Recently, the link has been stress-related. I remember studying for finals at university and having an all-over body flare-up which surprised me.… More

How to have a romantic summer holiday

Worried about how you and your partner will get on during your holiday? Don’t let stress, arguments and a lack of connection rain on your well-deserved summer break. Annie Kaszina shares her tips on making your summer break a romantic success

25 MAY 2015 by Psychologies

We’ve all been there… you’re both running on empty, looking forward to your summer break, just the two of you in the Tuscan countryside, no distractions, just you.

But then you argue when you can’t find the villa. He keeps falling asleep, while you want to stay up and chat. And you want to just lounge by the pool while he’s urging you to go hiking and explore.… More

6 Depression Symptoms You Shouldn’t Ignore

Everyone feels a little down in the dumps now and then. But sadness and withdrawal can become crippling, putting you at risk for a number of serious conditions and consequences, including suicide.

Depression symptoms aren’t always as obvious as frequent crying and overwhelming despair. “Oftentimes the changes are subtle, and the person may not notice, but their friends and loved ones may,” says Boadie W. Dunlop, MD, director of the mood and anxiety program in the psychiatry department at Emory University School of Medicine in Atlanta.

Still, there’s no one pattern. Depression symptoms may gradually progress from mild, such as choosing to stay home to watch TV instead of going out with friends, to more severe, such as thoughts of suicide.… More

Is your partner trying to quit smoking?

Here’s how to give your partner the emotional support they need

22 MAY 2015 by Psychologies

Quitting smoking can be an emotional time for your partner. Here are 10 ways you can provide the support they need to overcome their cigarette cravings.

The urge to smoke can be powerful – when people quit, they find themselves on an emotional roller coaster. If your partner is giving up, they need your support and encouragement, but helping them through the process can be tough on you as well.

We look at what you can expect, and what you can do to help both of you cope while quitting smoking.… More

Is your child stressed about exams?

ChildLine reported a 200% increase in requests for help since 2012, with teens desperately seeking solutions for anxiety, exam pressure and problems with teachers. As exam pressures mount, journalist Claire Eastham writes about how stress at school can affect your life and how we can help our children to navigate challenges

20 MAY 2015 by Psychologies

I’ve had Social Anxiety Disorder from the age of 15 and the recent ChildLine reports prompted me to think about this in relation to my own time in education. I can easily summarise those five years in one word: terror. Secondary school laid the foundations for later issues with mental health.… More

How to motivate your child

There are three steps to encouraging your child – competence, connection and choice, says Ilona Boniwell

20 MAY 2015 by Psychologies

Whenever I talk to a parent, the same theme emerges again and again: ‘My son/daughter is just not motivated to study/work/do anything. What can I possibly do?’

Motivation is a peculiar little animal of the human psyche. The more you force it to come out of its hiding hole, the further it retreats. And sometimes, when you try to get things under control, it disappears altogether.

Although motivation can’t be forced, there are factors that can improve the rate of its occurrence, which can make children progress from a state of amotivation (when they don’t want and don’t do) to extrinsic motivation (when they do something because they’re forced to), to introjected motivation (doing something out of feeling guilty), through to integrated motivation (I understand why I am doing this) and finally, to the intrinsic (I like it) one.… More